Sunday, February 1, 2009

HAFJAK DIVIZ - BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN

This is a copy of an internet chat between Ganerda Grul, publisher of the shocking comic strip album "STOP MAKING CRAP," and HAFJAK DIVIZ, cartoonist responsible for the philoso-comic "STOP MAKING CRAP (which is shocking.)" The chat takes place on Sunday morning, February 2, 2009, 10:00AM. All mispellings and internet chat abbreviations have been corrected.

HAFJAK: Ganerda, I'm a born-again christian!

Ganerda: Oh my. Good morning.

HAFJAK: I AM A BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN.

Ganerda: Thank you. Stop typing that.

HAFJAK: Why? I'm proud of it.

Ganerda: This is not going on the blog. I don't want to anger people.

HAFJAK: Are you kidding? Everyone's already angry! My typing means nothing.

Ganerda: Thank you. Good morning. You bring up an interesting topic, religion. Are you in fact a born-again Christian?

HAFJAK: No.

Ganerda: Are you religious?

HAFJAK: I believe in religion.

Ganerda: Please explain.

HAFJAK: Let's say this: I believe--

Ganerda: YOU say "this."

HAFJAK: --I believe in what I see, hear and feel. What I see is a lot of people. What I hear from them is a lot of stories. What I feel is a common desire from all these people to pass on what they have learned, their wisdom, and they pass this on through stories.

Ganerda: You are not in fact a born-again Christian.

HAFJAK: No.

Ganerda: Please apologize to the born-again Christians.

HAFJAK: No.

I believe in Joseph Campbell. I believe in the wisdom carried within mythology. I believe in enjoying the different interpretations of these mythologies and legends. Mostly, I believe in the good will of mankind and that religions are belief systems set up to help mankind. Religion is a wisdom learned and passed on to help guide others.

That's the best that religion is. The worst--in the hands of idiot a-holes, anything can become a terrible destructive thing.

Ganerda: Thank you, those are very interesting points. Perfect for Sunday.

HAFJAK: Are you religious?

Ganerda: It's a bit too early, and I am ill prepared for a proclamation of my religious beliefs.

HAFJAK: It's a pretty simple question.

Ganerda: It's also a personal question and not one I'm prepared to answer on a blog on the world wide web.

HAFJAK: Come on, G. Who reads blogs?

Ganerda: That's true. In that case, this chat doesn't need to be on the blog.

HAFJAK: What's the harm in putting it up?

Ganerda: Please apologize to the born-again Christians.

HAFJAK: Are you supposed to capitalize the c in "christian?"

Ganerda: Please?

HAFJAK: I'll meet you HAF way, my lovely publisher. I'll say that I admire anyone that proudly admits their beliefs and stands by them with strength and conviction. I admire those who stand by their beliefs especially on a coast where "believing" is not chic and is as unhip as a mullet on top of big plaid shoulder pads. It's when they get the crazy eyes and try to get me to go to their church that annoys me. What's with the recruiting?

Ganerda: Great apology.

HAFJAK: My apology would be false.

Ganerda: Thank you. I'm going to get myself some breakfast, now. Happy Sunday!

HAFJAK: Wait--I'd like to invite you to my church.

(Ganerda offline.)

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