Thursday, May 21, 2009

ODE TO IRON MAN BY HAFJAK DIVIZ

THE IRON MAN MOVIE
SAW IT--LOVED IT
A BIT OF IT DIDNT SIT WELL WITH ME
IRON MAN SMACKING AROUND ARAB LOOKING PEOPLE
A BIT ODD
DISLIKE MY HEROES BEING USED AS PROPAGANDA
FOR A CRIMINAL WAR
ANYWAY
THAT RED AND GOLD ARMOR
HE LOOKS LIKE A ROBOTIC RONALD MCDONALD

BUT I SAW THE MOVIE--LOVED IT
LOVE THE KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR ASPECT OF IT

ONE OF THE BEST PARTS OF THE MOVIE
WHEN IRON MAN IS BEING CHASED BY TWO JET FIGHTERS
KEEPS REPEATING IN MY HEAD
THE MORE IT REPEATS
THE MORE UNBELIEVABLE IT SEEMS
UNFORTUNATELY
I KNOW
ITS A COMIC BOOK MOVIE
BUT ITS FUN TO THINK ABOUT HOW REAL THESE FANCIFUL THINGS CAN BE

ITS THE PART
WHEN IRON MAN CRASHES INTO THE WING OF ONE OF THE PLANES
BAM!
HE TAKES THE WING OFF HES SO INDESTRUCTIBLE!

I DONT KNOW---

MAYBE THE ARMOR CAN TAKE THAT HIT
BUT TONY INSIDE?

LIKE
CHECK IT OUT

IF YOU GET A WOOD BOARD
LIKE YOUR KITCHEN CUTTING BOARD
OR SOME KIND OF LARGE STEEL PANEL
LIKE A GARBAGE CAN LID--A METAL ONE
PLACE IT IN FRONT OF YOUR BELLY
THEN HAVE A CHUM
PREFERABLY AFTER A COUPLE OF BEERS
SO THAT AGGRESSION COMES OUT
HAVE HIM WHACK THAT LID WITH A BASEBALL BAT

YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THAT!
ITS GONNA F-IN HURT!

LIKE A BULLETPROOF VEST
BOOM!
THE BULLET DOESN'T PIERCE THE VEST
BUT THE FORCE OF THE BULLET STILL KNOCKS THE WEARER DOWN
AT CLOSE ENOUGH RANGE THAT IMPACT CAN STILL KILL THE WEARER!

JUST IMAGINE A JET WING HITTING TONY!
HED JUST BE JELLY INSIDE THAT ARMOR
HED BE A PINK LIQUID IN THERE
LIKE A BUNCH OF WHOLE MILK WITH SOME BLOOD IN IT

I HOPE SOMEBODY WRITES ABOUT THE PHYSICS OF IRON MAN
LIKE THOSE OTHER BOOKS
THE PHYSICS OF TREK--STAR WARS AND WHAT NOT
WHERE A PHYSICIST WRITES ABOUT THE TRUE PHYSICAL PRINCIPLES
BEHIND POPULAR SCI FI AND SUPERHEROES

I CAN BELIEVE THAT IRON MANS ARMOR IS BULLETPROOF
BUT SURVIVING THAT JET WING?
SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TO TALK ME THROUGH THAT
IN EXTREME DETAIL
HOW THAT SKIN TIGHT METAL TAKES THE HIT
BUT TONY DOESNT

I WANT TO BELIEVE IN IRON MAN
I WANT TO BELIEVE IN THAT ARMOR
ITS PROTECTION

I HOPE THEY EXPLAIN IT IN THE UPCOMING SEQUEL
IN THE UPCOMING TWENTY SEQUELS!
I HOPE

LONG LIVE ROBERT DOWNEY JR
MAY YOUR FRANCHISE NEVER SUCCUMB
TO THREE VILLAINS IN ONE MOVIE





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